Family facts

Most of the Finns have same kind of vision of ideal family. There are parents, who both go to work and two children, a boy and a girl. Children go to school and get good grades and parents have well-paid job. Golden retrieve and Volvo in the yard are general. They have a detached house in the suburb and a lovely and safety lot. Does this family picture exists or is it just a dream? Most people think that those are requirements for a good life. But if you want a good life it’s not up to your work or money. It’s about how hard you work for it.

For most people marriage is a huge step to take , but by the time the step has got smaller. Earlier generations get first married and then moved together, had children and then live the rest of the life with same the partner. Nowadays is more common to live in a cohabitation and get engaged even if the couple doesn’t have plans to get married. Also divorces are becoming more general in Finland. Pair fall in love and get married with rose-colored glasses on and after few months novelty ends and magazines are also full of  pieces of news how Finnish celebrities get married, divorce and get married again. Blended families are common in Finland, it’s everyday to hear that someone has a stepfather or a stepsister.

The perfect picture is to have two children and the most of Finnish families have 2-3 children. Bigger families are often asked “are you lestadians because you have more than 5 children?”. Under the same roof is living only children and parents and extended families aren’t really common in Finland. We don’t live together with grandparents and we see our aunts and uncles only few times per a year. The nuclear family is the most important, but still sometimes relationships with family members aren’t so close. That might be the reason why teenagers want to move to an own apartment and build an own life as soon as possible.

These days children have more freedom to do what they like. They don’t have to live in a fear that someday they will have to pay back to their parents, what have they spent during the childhood. Even if the family is important, children might not respect their parents: big fights, disobedient children, and no respect for older people. The freedom might be one of the reasons why children don’t respect adults so much. We don’t have such a raising tradition as in some other countries to esteem older people. You can notice it when your own parents get older you prefer placing them to the old people house to take care of them by yourself.

Still every single family is one of their kind and we shouldn’t be generalising.  All of the parents have their own methods to raise their child and every family has own traditions and ways to show how to manage during the life.

– Niina and Veera